Writing

A simple act.
I struggle to live a life of meaning,
and to put pen to paper.
What is the correlation?
Because I love this so much,
but can never seem to put down the things
I so desperately need to.
The Great Novel:
Meaning, devotion, sensuality,
power, passion.
This I desire.
I need to.
To feel alive,
free, liberated from myself.
From my past.
What is in there?
Why can't I see what it is?
What stands in my way?
I can tell it is something from childhood.
A past love, the need to feel heard.
Wanting my father so many nights,
hurting my mother.
The regret of that moment.
The need to be heard.
Is that why I perform?
Because I get the attention I so desired?
It's never enough.
It will probably never be enough.
To fill his void.

Week in Review

I do apologize, dear readers, for the lack of posts this week. I'm usually pretty good, but have been quite busy since our return from Cincinnati. It's been a productive, determined week on my part, and a good one at that.

I spent the majority of the week cramming for my four Kindermusik classes that I teach on Wednesdays. Much to my surprise, I was quite prepared, and felt that I did a stellar job with the material. Given it was my first class, I felt that I totally kicked it, and am hoping the parents and children learn to love me.

Monday morning, with the commencement of schools in the area, I started putting in my phone calls to choir and music teachers - 20 in all, which is quite a lot. I was able to connect and meet just a handful of them, and was able to get out to the schools and hand them my studio information. The others, with the busy week ahead of them, weren't able to contact me, so I spent the entirety of Friday morning driving to 10 schools before the hour of 11am, dropping off my information packets to the Main Office. Within a two-hour span, I had already received two phone calls from prospective students... we'll see!

Last night, Rob and I headed out to Geneseo to the Richmond Hill Players. One of our old friends Jessica (her dad is Matt Nicol, our dear friend in Cheyenne, Wyoming) was in the Tom Stoppard play Arcadia and we were thrilled to be able to see her again after 4 years! Jess invited us to the cast party following, where we were able to meet her boyfriend as well as the entire cast and crew of the show. We had a supreme blast meeting and chatting with everyone - so much in fact, we didn't get home until 3am. We drank Boone's Farm, ate junk food, and talked late into the night. I felt 18 again. One of the highlights, of course, was networking with all the theatre crowd, who seemed interested in both my website as well as plans for my blossoming company. They were a super crowd, and we do hope to see them all again soon!

Rob starts Orientation at Augie this week, with many dinners and parties we will be attending. I think he is a might nervous, but he's also excited. For me, now, I will wait to see what blossoms for the studio and continue to advertise. My ad in the Reader (local weekly newspaper) goes up this week, which I hope will boost the name and get me some students!

To live outloud

It is true, that for the first time in about a year, I felt truly alive this past week. Having the chance to experience something like I did would make anyone feel as terrific as I do right now. Shall I share it with you?


Monday, August 13

So, as most of you know, my lifelong dream has always been to own and operate my own theatre company. While living in California, I did much planning toward that goal so that when we moved here, all I would need to do is implement those plans, and I hit the ground running. The first was, of course, Quad City Theatre Web. After launching the damn thing, I had a huge response from the QC theatre community. It was something I never believed would happen. Due to the response from everyone, I came into contact with an artistic director of a theatre company here in town. To make a long story very short, the company is in the process of acquiring their own, brand-new theatre space. Because this company only produces September through June, the AD basically said that I could use the space since I will only be producing in the summers. I about peed my pants I was so excited. Of course, there are many things for her company to work through, and mine as well, before all of this happens. But having a theatre space was the only thing I needed to get my company off the ground for next summer. Yay!

Tuesday, August 14

Rob and I packed up the car and headed for the Nati. Our dear friends Matt and Jason agreed to put us up for our brief stay in town. We met up with my dear friend Chuck and his new boyfriend, Jonathan for dinner at Andy's Meditteranian Grill for some hummus and falafel, before heading over to Bar Monet for some karaoke.

(Me, Chuck, Jonathan and Rob)

Wednesday, August 15

The highlight of my day Wednesday was seeing my dear friends Michael and Alan again to rehearse for the show. I hadn't seen Alan in nearly 16 months, and it was a joy to see and work with him again at New Stage Collective. We had a terrific rehearsal, then Rob and I were treated to homemade chicken and rice soup by Matt, while poor little Jason nursed a throbbing headache upstairs.

Thursday, August 16

After a noon rehearsal, we all got ready to go out for a night of great food and a show. We headed to our favorite hangout Universal Grille for a bite before taking in the show Hello Again with Satori Group. Many of my old Nati theatre friends were taking part in the show, so we decided to head down and take a peek. The story goes like this - NSC was supposed to produce Hello Again this month. When budget problems and artistic conflicts arose, NSC parted from the cast and crew, and decided to put up The Last Five Years instead. The cast and crew of Hello Again decided to partner with Satori, who produced the show. Needless to say, I wasn't very impressed with the production of this show. I am a fan of the score, but while I have many friends who participated, it really wasn't worth seeing. Check out the Enquirer review here. After the show, we hooked up with my old friend Josh and his girlfriend Jordan for some beers on the patio at Christie's.

Friday, August 17

This was the big day, and a busy one at that. Rob and I had a donut with Chuck in the A.M., then I met my old student Lonney for lunch downtown. After that, I met up with my old friend Andrew for a coffee and well overdue conversation. After a shower and a nice dinner, Rob dropped Michael and I off at the theatre for the last few moments of readying ourselves.



At about ten to 8, Michael and I were told that the show had sold out, and that people were still showing up! They had to add chairs we were so popular. It was a fantastic feeling, knowing an adoring crowd of everyone we loved in Cincinnati were there to share this amazing moment with us. As Michael held my hand for us to enter the stage, my heart was racing. It was all I could hear or concentrate on, as this was the first time I had been on stage in nearly 15 months. It was a long time coming.


(I'm a part of that)


(Schmuel, tailor of Klimovich)



(Goodbye 'til tomorrow/I could never rescue you)

It really was the most magical of moments I have had on stage in a long time. To be able to share something that intimate with Michael, Alan and the audience was a moment I will not soon forget. Afterward, we all headed down to Below Zero Lounge for cocktails and celebration. We had a blast catching up with old friends, and called it a night around 1, getting our White Castle fix with some cheeseburger sliders.


(Michael and I)



(Mark, Michael and I)


Saturday, August 18

It was quite a bittersweet day yesterday, having to say goodbye. That was what was weird about doing this show was we only had one time to perform it. I kind of liked it that way, as it made it all the more special. However, just being in the Nati made me realize how much I missed it and all the people there.

We met up with our pals Kal and Wade, and their two girls Cacie and Alexa for lunch at Outback. It was a nice, albeit short visit with our old friends.

(Kal and Alexa)


(Cacie and Rob)

After all was said and done, we got home around 9 after stopping in Morrison to pick up Maddy and have a bite with Rob's folks. While I had a blast with my old theatre friends, it was nice to be home again.

(Special thanks to Matt, who took the majority of these photos!)

Shortie

Hello dear readers...

Am off tomorrow morning for the Nati to perform with old friends New Stage Collective in The Last 5 Years. I will return with pics and stories galore. Catch you then!

My funny Valentine

When I was 17 and a senior in high school, I had the biggest crush on.... hahahaha. I'm not going to tell you his name because if someone googles him, it will come up to this page. So, we'll call him "X". X was a year or two younger than I, and his locker was just down from the locker I shared with Les for those last three years of school. He was gorgeous. And I'm not kidding you, like, GQ gorgeous. He was tall, athletic, blue-eyed and a sweetie, as well. I always kind of blew it off as a crush on a "kid" because he was, well, younger than I. But, and this was not my imagination, the boy would always smile and strike up conversations with me every time we both were going to and fro those lockers.

On Valentine's Day, we were getting ready to leave for lunch when he smiled and started chatting. As I said good-bye and headed toward the cafeteria he yelled down the hall, "Ally, will you be my valentine?"... I think I just smiled and blushed, as any 17 year old girl might do, and yelled back "How about a rain-check?", to which he smiled and nodded.

A week or two later, we were walking down the stairs in B wing together, and I asked him when I could get that rain-check. C'mon, this guy was smokin' hot! I wasn't about to let this one get away! He said he wasn't sure... I pushed him and he got pissed. Needless to say, we never got that rain-check. We still flirted and chatted throughout the rest of the year, but nothing ever happened between X and I, to my sad chagrin.

Ah, but I knew it would never work. This guy was a bit out of my league. He came from a very well-to-do family, generations upon generations educated at Yale. I never thought to myself that he was "better" than me. Just... different. I came from a very middle-class place in life. I probably would never had understood his world. And I was okay with that.

When I was in college, I heard that he had gone off to Yale (of course) and did a search on the directory. We communicated by e-mail for a while, then we lost touch. Now that I'm back home, I do often think about what happened to many of the people I went to school with, especially X. He was such a sweetheart, and, of course, a prime Hottie. I googled him this morning and found out that, yes, he is in residency in Chicago. But what else did I expect? Every male in X's family became a doctor. It's just weird for me to think of that sweet little 16 year old as a doctor. I bet he puts all his patients in a flutter, no doubt. But I'm glad to see he is doing well, my funny valentine.

Week in Review

Well, it's official. My new project has been launched. It's weird, waiting and planning for something to happen and when it finally does, I still feel like there is a million things to do. Anyway, click here to see my new baby. Hope you like it!

So, Rob has been telling me, for months and months now, to keep my eyes open and things will start happening for me. California seemed to suck the life out of both of us, and in turn, sucked any creative energy either one of us seemed to have. Now that we are home, and I'm starting all these projects (the theatreweb, my voice studio, the eventual theatre company), it does seem that things are looking up. Just this week, Rob and I went down to this coffee shop Dead Poets Espresso, in downtown Moline. When we walked in, I said "this is our cabaret space". Hardwoods, exposed brick, clean, great product, and a stage in the front of the shop. Who could ask for anything better? Well, as fate would have it, the owners of the shop, Bonnie and Jim, are parents of a guy I went to high school with... someone I hung out with (for my Moline friends reading this, it was Travis Wells' parents!). So weird. Anyway, after chatting with Bonnie for an hour, she is starting voice lessons tomorrow afternoon, and has agreed to let us do our cabarets in her coffeeshop. Yay!



Last night, Rob and I went over to Princeton, Illinois to see my old pal Keith in a summer stock production called Absolutely Anything, an original musical. I would have rather watched Absolutely Anything else than this awful piece of trash. But Keith, as always, was wonderful, and made lemonade out of this lemon of a show. Before the show, we took Keith to Ladd, IL, just 20 minutes away, for Rips Fried Chicken. People will stand in line for hours just to have a little piece of heav'n at Rips. Greasy, crispy yummyness.


(Keith with his leftovers)

I've been working my little buns off for my performance of The Last Five Years, which is in just 12 days. I can't wait to see all my pals and to sing with my dear friend Michael. Should be a grand week!