Eclipse

The sun fades.
A clock chimes.
And as the moon passes between the Earth and the sun,
time stands still.
For a brief moment,
the Earth breathes,
alone in darkness.
Shadows form in crescents on the sidewalks.
It's as if the pull of
US
beats alone.
To our own rhythms,
heightened by our awareness of life being pulled away.
We are drawn to it's powers.
Each soul stops.
Looking at it's luminescence.
For a glimpse of something so alive and awake
we feel robbed of our own life.
And it passes.
It passes.
And we are brought into the fold of monotony once again.

Weekly Update

The Bittersweet...

It's almost time for me to say my goodbyes. I don't want to do this. There are a select few (you know who you are) that this is going to be nearly unbearable. But, as Kev has always said, That which does not kill us.....

Health- Pilates is the best thing ever. I can't begin to tell you all the wonderful things it does for my body. As soon as I get up in the morning, I begin, and I feel so great the rest of the day. Of course, I'm a bit stressed over the upcoming move, but whatever.


Stuff- I bailed out a friend of mine this week, the composer/pianst Evan Mack. He wrote these amazing pieces to Langston Hughes' Dream of Freedom. Evan's soprano bailed on him the day before a big performance at the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center downtown. So, being the fabulous friend and amazing musician that I am, I said I'd do it when he called in a mindfuck on Wednesday. The performance went well on Thursday to a well-received crowd. Evan conducts the choir from St. Anthony's church in Madisonville, which sang behind me, and the large black soloist, Glen. You have never seen so many straight-laced white people get funky as soon as the music began. It was a real treat.

Final meal- Rob and I are getting in all our favorites this week. I.E., Brownie sundae at Aglemesis Bros. in Oakley, Pad Sea Ewe at Ruthai's in Mt. Lookout, Graeters, Mexican food at Rio Grande and italian at Pompilio's in Newport. It saddens me to know I won't be able to get Eggplant Parmesan like I can there. Be sure to eat there for me, guys, and tell me how wonderful it is.

We leave next Saturday for a three day stay in Illinois. My folks are throwing a big bash the night we get in. Barbeque, beer, and lots of friends. It should be a blast. Then departing Tuesday the 8th for the coast. I'm not looking forward to that car trip. I'm gonna be hating life, as Les says. So true, my friends. So true.

Happy happy, Matt, and other details

Last night was fabulous. It was Matt's 35th birthday, and he threw himself a lovely pool party/shindig in his backyard. It was a beautiful night for good friends, drinking beer, and watching Matt jump from the ladder of his pool onto blow-up Shamu. Quite a sight. Chuck even took part.


The highlight of the evening was seeing my pal Jason, all the way in from Phoenix. He's looking quite slim and trim since his foray into the world of the South Beach Diet. We cooked out, ate way too much, and drank lots of beer. It was me, my straight husband, and a backyard full of gay men. My kind of party.


Rob decided to take this one of my belly (gotta love the pilates). I had to throw it in here.


Jason and I. He is so cute!!


Today was my last day at The Children's Place. It was fun while it lasted, but I'm glad my days in the world of retail are over. As little responsibility as it was, it wasn't exactly a job I felt fulfilled doing. I didn't feel as if I was contributing to the greater good. Straightening and folding shirts all day doesn't exactly make you feel as if you're part of the solution. Being a teacher? Yah, that does.

For those of you I missed, my Bon Voyage party is Thursday, August 3 at Universal Grille (Hamburger Mary's) beginning at 9pm. Hope you can make it down to party, karaoke and drink with us hardcore's!

Weekly Update

I'm finally beginning to feel some semblance of reality, once again. I feel almost normal. Sort of. I'll often times wake in the middle of the night and feel that something is off. Something is different. What is it? Then I remember. I'm moving cross-country in two weeks. Oh yeah, that's it.

The packing is coming along. It's nice to go through stuff and say "Why the hell did I save this?" and subsequently throw it in the trash bin. And boy do we have a lot of crap. We got our van secured, all the apartment here and there is taken care of. I still feel awful.

Leaving everyone is going to be so ridiculously hard. I know I'll be coming back to the Nati to visit as often as I can. It's just the fact that I can't get in my car and drive over to Mary's or meet Charlie at China Kitchen on a Wednesday night. It blows.

The Skinny- I unfortunately have been quite lax in my duties of staying slim and trim since we found out we were moving. The stress takes hold of you, and you begin to eat poorly, forget to do pilates, etc.. Of course I was extremely pre-menstrual and the size of a house throughout the past few weeks. But once I returned from the coast, it was back on the pilates and eating right. I'm happy to say that, after a brief stint in the size 12's, I'm back in the size 10's again. Five days in a row of pilates and not eating out will do wonders for your gut.

Entertainment- Had a lovely dinner with Charlie on Wednesday at the China Kitchen, followed by a nice talk/walk while eating Graeters to end the evening. Made me realize just how many friends I have here, which saddened me. Thursday night I went to see As Bees in honey drown with Ovation Theatre Company. Two of my dear friends, B and Mark are performing in it. I loved it, fabulous, wonderful, what have you. If you're in town, go see it because it's superb. Spent an hour talking to B after in the sweltering parking garage, but it was worth it to just chat with him. Friday night, Rob and I went to see Monster House, this little confection of an animated film featuring the voice talents of Maggie Gyllenhall, Jason Lee, Kathleen Turner, Steve Buscemi, Kevin James and three amazingly talented youngsters in the roles of the three kids. It wasn't your big summer blockbuster like Cars or Pirates (which I was disappointed in), but it was subtle. And entertaining. And quite sweet. Go see it if you have the chance.

Other stuff- Tomorrow is Matt's pool party, where I'll get to see my boy Jason!!! I'm so excited. Plus any chance to show off my pilates-beaten-into-shape gut is fun for any girl.

Untitled

You have stolen a part of me,
with no intentions of giving it back.
I wait for you,
blind in your darkness.
My head aches.
My hands ache.
My heart aches
in your wake.
When I think it's a blue day,
I don't know how true that is.
You do your will,
while I wait for you,
you know....
I still
want
wait
want
your eyes
your laugh
still want
as I wait for you.
My artist.
For you.

I'm back.....

Did you miss me? I bet you did.

Well, California turned out to be a great trip. I found us a place to live- a great one-bedroom very near 'Old Town', the quaint area on the west side of town. The apartment has hardwood floors, lots of windows, a breakfast nook (so we don't have to eat in front of the TV anymore) and they're cool with Maddy. The biggest problem we were running into was not a single landlord wanted to rent to people with dogs. What a nightmare. But these new landlords seem cool, and much like our current landlords- very down to earth and easy to get along with.

While there, I was able to check out my new town. The climate there was beautiful- a cool 61 degrees most days I was there. The weather changes almost every hour. Overcast, then sun, then fog, then sun again. It only rained one day I was there, and I spent that afternoon at the mall. The nice thing about Eureka? No smog. No allergies. I could breathe there, the air is so clean. The south side of town is a bit grimy due to a paper mill there, but once you head north, it gets a little nicer. My first night, I had dinner at a thai restaurant, then hit Samoa Dunes, where I called my folks and Rob to boast about the waves I was watching roll in from the ocean.


Sunday was when I met the new landlord and saw the place- I knew I had to have it the second I saw it. Spent some time at the mall, then had mexican food while I watched Independance Day in my hotel room. Ended the evening with taking a dip in the hotel pool.

Monday secured the apartment, then celebrated by treating myself to dinner at Woodley's Marina, just off the Dunes. I caught up with a quite intoxicated B while again listening to the rhythms of the earth roll upon the shore. Here is the proof I was there.


With an extra day to kill, I headed to Sequoia Park and Zoo. Unfortunately the park was "Closed due to wind", whatever that means. But I was able to walk around the cute little zoo. My favorite part was the petting zoo, where they had all kinds of goats, sheep and such you could pet. The zoo's resident dog, Sandy, walked around with me and kept coming back for a scritch or two. I was then chased by a cock (pun surely intended here) through the entire barn. At the end of the zoo is Bill the Chimp. Bill is the oldest living male chimpanzee in captivity, at a ripe age of 60. The dude is hooked up, with a heated bed in his own "monkey apartment", complete with TV and stereo. Unfortunately, he was fighting a lung infection, and was a little too tired to make an appearance for photos (so said his keeper). Bill has made appearances on Letterman because this chimp is also an artist. You can even buy an original Bill painting in the giftshop for a mere $65. I almost splurged. Returned the rental car and spent the evening in my hotel, again having mexican food and subjecting myself to Elektra.

My plane left Eureka at 7:30 am (Jesus that was early) that next morning, and I finally arrived back in Indianapolis at 8pm. Long freakin' day.

I'm glad I went. I think if I hadn't gone, I would be a lot more freaked than I am. I've seen the town, I get the vibe. It's cool. But now it's finally starting to hit me that we're leaving. How much I will miss everyone. I don't want to talk about it. It will just make me sad. So good night. More to come soon.

The Chaos of Impulsiveness

California. Lush, green, beaches for miles, and a sea too vast to comprehend.

I never thought I would be one to move to such a place, but here I am, and I'm doing it.

Since you, dear reader are most likely a close friend or relative, you probably know I'm terrified beyond anything I've ever felt. But just a few weeks ago I threw out to the world "I'm bored. Make me feel alive". The stars aligned, the cosmos was listening. If I really wanted to feel alive, there isn't anything else I could imagine that would do it other than this.

Excitement isn't a big enough word to describe one of the other emotions I'm feeling at this moment. In less than 5 weeks, I'll be driving across country with Rob, one of us in a giant U-Haul, the other behind the wheel of Blu, with a dog in tow and Dixie Chicks blaring "Wide Open Spaces" on the dial. Sounds appropriate, don't you think?

I don't think I ever intended on staying in Cincinnati. I always felt like I was waiting for something. More. I don't know why I felt this way, but I did. I do. For a while I think I wanted to stay, but not because I felt there was something for me here. I was comfortable. That was all. I felt safe. Moving doesn't make me feel unsafe, but it does feel impulsive. And exciting. And freakin' horribly scary.

I won't miss the allergies. Or the asthma. Or humid weather. Or the insane conservatism that covers this area like a thick layer of honey. But I will miss the changing of the seasons (this part of the world is 40-65 degrees year round). I'll miss snow (although, all I'll have to do is drive a few hours away and I'm in the mountains). I'll miss Pad Sea Ewe at Ruthai's in Mt. Lookout. I'll miss Mary-oke. I'll miss my Cincinnati family. More than you will ever know.

I'll be in Arcata/Eureka this coming Saturday through Wednesday. I'm taking both cameras, so be on the lookout for pics of my new hometown next week. Until then, here is a pic from Trinidad Beach/Harbor, just a few miles from Arcata. Jealous?