Week in Review

Much has happened in the past days, so listen up. You might miss something.

Well, it was bound to happen at least once or twice since we moved here. Rob is sick. I mean, really sick. Like runny stuffy nose, aches and chills, a sore throat, etc.. In all honesty, I've been sick about 7-8 times since we moved here: since I started the exercise/eating right regimen, I haven't been sick once. But now that the school year is winding down for Rob (finals are next week), his body just gave up to the illness. I'm sure I am no peach to live with during an illness, but wow is this man a baby. I love him desperately, but Rob is the type of person who, when ill, wants everyone to be ill with him. Quite unpleasant.

I started working at Bath and Body Works, which has been fun so far. Sunday is my first day out on the floor, and I am looking forward to it. I hate all that beginning training crap they make you sit through. BBW is no different, as there were 4 hours of videos they made us ladies in training watch. So I am ready to get out on the floor and see actual people! I like working retail- there is just something about all that consumerism that is warm, inviting, and interesting to be a part of.

In other news, I left South Bay. Yes, I did. On Thursday, after I sat in my office for four hours doing absolutely nothing, I came home in a funk I couldn't shake. Rob and I had a throw-down, where he proceeded to tell me to "just quit!" because he was tired of coming home to a zombie. I liked seeing me from his point-of-view. Because I knew I had been depressed, distant, sad, angry. But when he finally said, at the top of his voice, that I looked like a zombie, I knew it was time to take control of my life. The only reason I was staying at South Bay was for the extra income. However, taking my life back for the next month, and being happy, I realized, was far more important than a few hundred bucks. It's that whole "leap and a net will appear" idea. I hope I'm right.

Lately, I've been having this dream. It's a recurring sex dream, actually, about a man from my past. I've been having this dream for the better part of my adult life (probably close to 12 years). Strange, as usually in this dream, he is somewhat standoff-ish. Not cold, but there is something in him that feels that he is wrong in being with me. It's interesting, because of course I would think he felt that way, because all those years ago, that was how he was with me in real life. But the other night, I had the same dream. He was different this time. Not standoff-ish or fighting himself. He actually wanted to be with me. The analyst in me wonders what this might mean. As a young woman, I was madly in lust with him, constantly wondering if he ever felt the same way for me as I did for him. I think there is a part of me that will always wonder that still. Now, as a grown woman, I feel that it was just a romantic notion of a young girl, naive to the ways of human communication. I've been in love twice since those days of wonderment, and have learned much from these relationships. I wonder, if what, would happen if I ever saw him again?