OCTA/Weekly Update

Last night was the OCTA Awards Banquet. We had a blast. Let me regale you with tales of the evening...

I arrived at the Sharonville Holiday Inn around 5:45 to our room on the 8th floor. Great view of town for miles and miles. I was sharing a room with Julie, Sarah and Megan, although M hadn't arrived yet. So the three of us girls ate chips and salsa (my homemade, of course) and drank drank drank. We made ourselves beautiful and headed downstairs to the banquet hall. It looked so lovely down there. Lots of tables, low lighting/candlelit room. I felt so happy walking in there. It really made me realize just how far I've come in the last four years. Walking in that room, I knew so many people and was so elated to give them hugs and kisses. Theatre friends old and new were there, including my old friends from Children's Theatre of Mason, Brahm and Becky!

Julie, Sarah, Meg and me.

With a flask of wine concealed in my purse, the three of us girls proceeded to get more and more drunk as we waited for dinner to begin. I don't remember much from beginning of dinner until the end, but I do remember eating a variety of dishes like glazed carrots, rolls, and some chicken thing. Oooo, and chocolate cake. Yummy. We shared a table with fellow CMT'ers Greg Emmer and his family, Lauren Sprague (darling who played Peggy in 42nd Street) and Samantha Toberman and her hubby. After dinner, us girls still quite intoxicated, they began the awards ceremony. It wasn't nearly as bad as I had been warned, but still a lengthy 90 minutes. It was then when many of the actors in the community showed up- Kenny, Derek and Chris, Megan and Dave Zlatic, Babs. 42nd Street swept many of the awards (good for them!), with Chess not winning many. Although, a few of us won for our performances! I won four awards last night, two for Excellence in Vocal Performance for both Chess and Putting it together, and two for Excellence in Acting in both shows as well. All in all, a great night to be recognized!

After the awards, the DJ arrived and we commenced the par-tay. We had a blast! Lots of booze, lots of dancing. The DJ played 80's music the majority of the evening, and threw in some good dance songs like Electric Slide. Thankfully, no Hokey Pokey or Chicken Dance was heard. Derek and I shared a hot dance to Paradise by the dashboard light (thanks honey!). Then Brian Anderson got a hold of me for some fun swing dancing. I was very drunk, and trying my best with this amazing dancer when he finally asked if he should let me lead! I relaxed a bit, and by then, we were Fred and Ginger (at least in my mind).

Derek and me- so cute!

We danced until 1am, when it was finally time for this girl to turn into a pumpkin. I drank a bottle and a half of wine by myself last night, but I drank a lot of water and danced so much that I avoided any evilness that amount of alcohol could have brought. I don't remember much about the rest of the evening. Julie and I tried to crash a party full of bikers at one point, made our way to the hospitality room filled with actors. Meg and I bonded in the corner over choc. chip cookies and sour cream potato chips. We changed into our jammies, Dave ordered pizza and we crashed around 2am.

It was a rough morning, of course. Had brunch with Chuck and his gang today at Arthurs in Hyde Park, then spent the majority of the day on the couch. Well deserved.

Tuesday is the big day. Come and see me perform!!!

Random shit

Why is Spinal Tap so cool? How cool are Harry Shearer, Christopher Guest and Michael McKean that they are both comic genius and guitar-rocking gods? Can someone please explain this to me?

I've been practicing my song for the Karaoke Karavan contest next Tuesday-again, if I haven't told you, come see me. It's this coming Tuesday the 27th, 7pm at RBC's, 1142 Main downtown Nati. It's going to be awesome. I'm not going to tell you what I'm performing. Leaving it a surprise for those who venture out to see the big show.

Gave Maddy a bath today. By myself! I never do that- it's usually a two-person job since she's nearly 90 pounds. But it was a success. Now I have a gorgeous girl who most likely smells better (I wouldn't know, you know, no sense of smell and all).

I've been working like a mad-woman at the Children's Place. We've lost a few girls from the team, so I'm working close to 25 hours a week there. It's really fine- I like cash, so it's cool. Plus it's a fun job with super-fun girls, so I won't complain. My manager Maya asked me today if I'd be interested in part-time Assistant Manager. What? Come again? Yes, she did. So we'll see about that! I'd be working the same hours, but with more responsibility and better money. Very cool.

It's raining here in the Nati. Which is okay. We've had some very HOT, sunny weather the past few days, so we probably need the rain and the cool-down.

So back in college, I got this book called "If". It's a book filled with questions, all beginning with "If...?" I've decided to add this segment to the blog. I'd love to read your responses.

If you could have lunch with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?

Weekly Update

It has arrived...- Yes, friends, Smell the Glove showed up on my doorstep last week. Ah the sweet sounds of Spinal Tap ringing through the house. It's so awesome.

Karaoke- Gearing up for my big performance next Tuesday. I'm a little nervous about the whole thing. Performing is easy for me, it's in my blood, part of who I am. Plus the words will be in front of me, so I shouldn't have fear that I'll forget them. But there are prizes at stake here! Plus think of what this might do for my studio. What great exposure!

Work- Doing a lot of it. That's all I have to say about that.

OCTA- This coming weekend is the Ohio Community Theatre Association annual Awards Banquet. I'm looking quite forward to it. Last year I won an Orchid Award for my performance in Love/Perfect/Change (keeping fingers crossed for Chess), but was unable to attend the big bash because I was performing in Kimberly Akimbo. Such is life for an actor... but this year I'm going with three fellow actor girlfriends. We are going to have such a blast! Booze, food, great company, and big-ass party at the end of the night. Can't wait!

Health- Keeping on the good health kick I started in March, I'm feeling great. The pilates has completely changed my body. The damned shingles are finally gone. The pain only comes every few days or so, and I know I'll have some scarring. Hopefully it will subside before I don the hot dress for Saturday night.

Vacation-...all I ever wanted. The week of July 10th, Rob and I will be heading south for a few days. We're going to stop in at Louisville for some fun at Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom (soooo much better than Paramount's Kings Island), visit some bourbon distilleries, and take in the sights. Then a few days at romantic General Butler State Park Resort and Spa. We really need this... this time together away from everything. Then the last weekend of July we're heading home to the QC for Bix weekend. The late jazz great Bix Beiderbecke was born in Davenport, Iowa (one of the Quad Cities), and lived a whirl-wind life as a jazz phenom until he died, deathly-ill and broke, at the young age of 28. Every summer, my hometown puts on this huge festival, with a 7-mile run up the hill from Hell Brady Street Hill, then three days of food, fun and dixieland jazz (which can also qualify as Hell to most). It's pretty cool, except for the idiot parents who decide to bring their children down in strollers the size of a back-hoe in 95 degree heat. Always fun. The real reason we're going home is to see my sister and brother-in-law Tina and Lou and my nephew Enzo. The last time we saw him he was just crawling. Now he's walking and talking. I'd like to see him again before he graduates from college. Hopefully we'll get in some time to see Les and Corey and take a dip at the fun pool at Middle Park.

More later.

Karaoke Queen

That's right, folks. Last night, I won the Budweiser/92.5 The Fox Karaoke Contest at Universal Grille (formerly known as Hamburger Mary's). I had some stiff competition- many good singers...and many not so good singers. But out of 11 of us or so, I was crowned champion of the evening. What did I sing, you ask? What the hell do you think?! Pat Benetar Heartbreaker, of course.

So what happens now? I go on to compete against other winners from around the city on Tuesday, June 27, 7pm at RBC's, 1142 Main Street, Downtown Nati. For those of you in the area, please come down to see me compete! The more people I have there to scream and applaud, the better my chances of winning! If I advance, the finals will be Friday, June 30 at Great American Ballpark. The winner will receive $925 and will sing the National Anthem at a Reds Game! Fabulous!

Now, what to sing....

These were the doubts I had....

I doubted I was good enough.
Smart enough.
Pretty enough.
For him.
He made me feel them, with never a response.

I doubted my talent.
I doubted my own intelligence

I doubted he would stay.
I doubted his love for me.

I doubt I will ever really know my Dad.

I doubt Maddy will ever give up eating Kleenex, napkins, toilet paper.

I often doubt the magnificence of small things to make me happy.

I doubt I'll ever know if he felt the same things for me that I did for him.

I doubted myself when he beckoned for me to join him outside.

I doubt I'll ever know what it feels like to be something I'm not. This terrifies me.

I doubted D...for good reason.

I doubt that I'll ever feel the things I tend to push away, deep in my being, that I secretly desire.

Weekly Update

It's really been a great week. Got to meet Jason, started the summer teaching term, and worked a lot of hours. Plus I started reading The Tattoo Artist by one of my favorite authors, Jill Ciment. Sensual, moving, powerful. The story of a woman artist lost who finds her own self as she takes on her greatest masterpiece. Read this book if you can. Brilliant.

Health- Shingles are pretty much gone now. I may have a little scarring, and there is still some nerve pain. But all in all, I'm feeling pretty okay. Despite the fact I'm crazy hormonal and bloated up this week.

Work-Busy busy busy. I'm looking forward to the weekend of June 24-26th as I'll have those days off to enjoy time with my pals at the OCTA party. Should be a super fun blast!

Spinal Tap- No, not the procedure, but the band. I am the proud owner of the movie This is Spinal Tap, and watched it for the third or fourth time this weekend. Hysterically funny, if you've never seen this movie, you MUST run out and rent it. Written by Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer (the same guys who wrote Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, A mighty wind, etc.) it's a 'mockumentary' of the final tour of an aging rock band. I thought Spinal Tap was an actual band until I was about 12 and realized that Michael McKean of Laverne and Shirley played David St. Hubbins, and that the six-fingered man who killed Mandy Patinkin's father in The Princess Bride was actually Nigel Tufnel, played exceptionally by Christopher Guest. The movie boasts performances by young actors yet to make it big- Billy Crystal, Dana Carvey, Angelica Huston and Ed Begley, Jr. (whose autographed headshot, yes, resides over my toilet). After some deep thinking, I broke down and bought the album on Amazon. Any classic rock fan will love songs like Lick my love pump, Sex Farm, or Big Bottom. With lyrics like "My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo/I'm gonna sink 'er with my pink torpedo", who wouldn't love these guys?

Passion Post-mortem

I've had vivid dreams as of late. Maybe it's the book I'm reading before I go to sleep. Maybe it's the cocoa puffs before bed. Maybe it's chemical/hormonal. At any rate, they feel so real. I've always been one of those people who remembers each detail, too, as if reading from a book. I could tell you each color, texture, sound in the dream.

I feel myself slipping away from the people who've grown so close to me. I hate this. I dream about them, all of them. I find myself sad if a day or two goes by and I don't get a text message from Charlie or B, or Chuck. Or if I don't hear from Kels or Mark. What was my life for a few months is slowly starting to fall away from me. That, I'm frightened of. I found I was in the middle of a passionate love affair with myself. Finding the person I've always wanted to be hidden deep-down, in that warm, dark place. A place that only a woman can know or feel. She is there. She is me. And I wonder how I can keep her now that this part of my life is over? How do I hold onto that identity and not let her slip away? Because I don't want to go through the rest of my life being something I've always despised- Mini-Van-Driving-Bad-Haircut-Soccer-Mom who is only looked upon as Wife or Mother. NO THANK YOU. Women aren't put on this Earth to just procreate, raise babies, clean house, cook meals, etc.. Don't get me wrong, I respect and admire the women who do those things. But it isn't something that I choose for myself. And I feel for the women who had dreams and goals for themselves, then choose another road. Are they truly happy with their lives? Or are they always searching and yearning for something more? For more of anything in their life because the monotony of their daily lives leaves them screaming on the inside? Sure I want to have a baby someday, but I don't want to let that define who I am. I'm a woman first. A woman with fire, love, passion, desire, wants.

Women I admire-
-Hilary Clinton
-Eleanor Roosevelt
-Sue Monk Kidd
-Tori Amos
-Jill Ciment
-Etta James
-Toni Morrison
-Annette Benning
-Oprah (come on, she's awesome)
-Aretha Franklin
-Alice Sebold
-Joan Allen
-Judi Dench
-Pauline Bedford (my grandma)
-My mom

Soul-mate

I met one of my soul-mates yesterday. His name is Jason, and I think I'm in love. Alas, I'm not gay, and he's dating a dear friend, so it will never be. *Sigh* Be sure you check out his blog. I love this candid shot of us- so perfect.


I started reading Jason's blog on a whim, noticing that Matt often had comments from him on his blog. Jason is so very fabulous. He's adorable and sweet and kinda reminds me of a cross between my cousin Chad and Brad Pitt. Meeee-yow.

Having been working my arse off this week. I took Monday off due to the shingles, which are spreading down my arm to my wrist now. Eeeewwwww. The pain is the worst part. But I'm feeling okay, so it's been back to work for me. I worked a 10 hour day today, which was rough. But I'm making the big bucks, so I won't bitch.

More to come soon... I promise.

Weekly Update

Health-I was having a great week. Doing my cardio AND pilates, feeling fabulous. Friday night, I'm sitting reading a book and notice the back of my left arm starts to itch. Uh oh, I think. I know what this is. Yes, folks, I have shingles. AGAIN. For the THIRD time. For those of you who don't know what this is, it's basically the chicken pox virus. It lies dormant in your spine after your first brush with the pox as a youngster, then rears it's ugly head during times of great stress or when your immune system is weakened. For a grander synopsis of the disease and all it's beauty, click here. It starts out with a nasty itch, just like the chicken pox when you're a kid. After the blisters break open, the itch becomes just about the worst pain you will ever feel. Because this is a nervous system ailment, it travels down your nerves and hits a singular spot on your body. Mine always picks the back of my left arm. I'm lucky- most people get it on their backs or somewhere on the midsection. Right now, I'm in the healing blister/screaming pain section of the virus. It basically feels like my entire arm is on fire right now. Advil or Tylenol takes care of some of the pain, but at this second, the pain is shooting into my hand/fingers and makes it nearly impossible to do much else except whisper FUCK under my breath. After it runs it's course, the pain usually sticks around for about 6-8 weeks, just to torment me. It's great fun. Being the third time, I know the protocol by now. Take it easy. Don't wear anything with sleeves- the slightest breeze or touch sends shooting pain through my arm. Take something for the pain. Put calamine lotion on to take the itch away. Stay away from kids or anyone whose never had chicken pox before for a few days.
To completely gross you out, here's a picture of my arm. Sweet.


Friends and such- Last night, a group of us went to see Urinetown, put on by the Showbiz Players. I really enjoyed the show! It was well-acted, and beautifully sung. It helped that Bunny and Tom cast a super group of people. We all had a super time before, having drinks and a bite at Arthur's in Hyde Park. Beers on the patio, a beautiful night, great company. Couldn't ask for a more lovely evening.


Performing- Despite the shingles, I performed Saturday at Summerfair. It's going on it's 40th year or something like this. What a great event! Artists from all over the country come to sell and display works of art. Painting, glass, woodworking, fabrics. It was great to see such an array of beautiful pieces of art. And the gathering of so many different people from all walks of life. It was a gorgeous day- 75 and sunny with a slight breeze. Rob and I performed for a half hour, all musical theatre, jazz and cabaret stuff. We had a great crowd of close to 50 people, I'd say. Everyone had such great things to say, and a dude from a jazz orchestra in Northern Ohio chatted with me about coming to do a guest artist gig with his band! Very cool.
Everyone keeps asking me what my next show/gig is going to be. So let me just put it out there- I HAVE NO IDEA. I would like to enjoy my summer this year. Every summer since 2001, something has been cooking. 2002- move to Cincinnati. 2003- Planning wedding. 2004- Side Show. 2005- Kimberly Akimbo, directing The Second Beam and chair of the Sunday in the Park with George gala. I'm ready for a summer off, people! I know my adoring public wants to see me on stage again, but I'm taking some time off. There are two shows I'm thinking of auditioning for coming up in the fall. That's the first thing I'm thinking of for now. Plus there is a lot of work I need to be doing for me. My soul needs a little taking care of first. Then I'll be ready to dive back in.

X-men 3- Now I'm no X-men fan or anything, but I'm a huge geek about the movies. Rob and I saw The Last Stand on Friday. Bryan Singer, of course, directed the first two, which catapulted the man to stardom and elite A-status in the action/adventure realm of movie-making. The man is a genius. As a side note, his Superman Returns, coming out soon, looks amazing. The trailer looks like you're watching a comic book come to life. Brett Ratner took over the spot as director when, coincidently, his directing of Superman Returns starting going sour (too bad Singer couldn't direct both). Although Last Stand was quite good, it didn't have the heart and soul of the first two movies. The editing was choppy, the dialogue was awkward, and the actors looked as though they were thinking "I'm just here for the big-ass paycheck". The plot was entertaining enough, but you could tell there was a lot of backstory to many of the new characters we didn't get to see. Such as Ben Foster as Angel, Kelsey Grammer as Beast and Ellen Page as Shadowcat. However, I'm a fool for anything where Hugh Jackman as Wolverine always somehow manages to lose a shirt and looks that rugged. Woof.