(Mine is the one on the left)
Happy Halloween!
Also, Break a leg to my friends in La Cage aux Folles in Cincinnati. They open this week- wish I could be there to see you all... especially B with those chains and whips.....
Monday, October 30, 2006
Happy Halloween!
(Mine is the one on the left)
Happy Halloween!
Also, Break a leg to my friends in La Cage aux Folles in Cincinnati. They open this week- wish I could be there to see you all... especially B with those chains and whips.....
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Weekly Update
My apologies, still, to those who await desperately for my return emails. My fossilized computer hates Hotmail for some reason. I will respond to you with my Yahoo! account soon, I promise!
Although I hate what Global Warming is doing to our fair planet, it has drastically changed the climate of the North Coast the last few years. What usually would be a cold, rainy, disgusting month of October, we've had more sunshine and beautiful days than I could ever imagine. Although when it's damp, it's gross. The fog rolls in from the ocean, blanketing everything in sight. The drive to work is always an adventure! Our very nice landlord Mike lent us his dehumidifier a few days ago. We've been running it for 3 days straight, and has made a whole of difference in our apartment.
And I've decided to take an audition... finally, something worth auditioning for! North Coast Rep is putting up Neil Simon's Jake's Women in January. It's a comtemporary story of middle-aged Jake, whose marriage is in dire straights, clinging to his own imaginary world and the women he envisions there. With seven roles for women, I hope I have a pretty good shot. Although it will be the first straight play I've been in since Kimberly Akimbo in the summer of '05. I miss doing them, so this should be good for me, if I get a role. I audition next Sunday- wish me luck!
It's almost Halloween, and I hope now that, since we live in a neighborhood with children, we'll get trick-or-treaters. We stocked up on the candy in hopes we do. If not, Kidsclub will be lovin' me with all the candy they will be getting!
I leave you with this...
She wore a Raspberry Beret... kind you find in a second-hand store....
Although I hate what Global Warming is doing to our fair planet, it has drastically changed the climate of the North Coast the last few years. What usually would be a cold, rainy, disgusting month of October, we've had more sunshine and beautiful days than I could ever imagine. Although when it's damp, it's gross. The fog rolls in from the ocean, blanketing everything in sight. The drive to work is always an adventure! Our very nice landlord Mike lent us his dehumidifier a few days ago. We've been running it for 3 days straight, and has made a whole of difference in our apartment.
And I've decided to take an audition... finally, something worth auditioning for! North Coast Rep is putting up Neil Simon's Jake's Women in January. It's a comtemporary story of middle-aged Jake, whose marriage is in dire straights, clinging to his own imaginary world and the women he envisions there. With seven roles for women, I hope I have a pretty good shot. Although it will be the first straight play I've been in since Kimberly Akimbo in the summer of '05. I miss doing them, so this should be good for me, if I get a role. I audition next Sunday- wish me luck!
It's almost Halloween, and I hope now that, since we live in a neighborhood with children, we'll get trick-or-treaters. We stocked up on the candy in hopes we do. If not, Kidsclub will be lovin' me with all the candy they will be getting!
I leave you with this...
She wore a Raspberry Beret... kind you find in a second-hand store....
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Untitled
I can already see it.
In shades of violet, aqua, scarlet.
Things I do not yet understand or see.
But it is there.
Waiting at the crossroads.
The precipice.
It waits, quietly breathing, in darkness.
Warm and alive, nearly in flame from the heat
of unyielding pull.
Like the race-horse at the gate,
it's heart thumping.
Chomping it's teeth to see what lies beyond.
I can almost see it, waiting on that long stretch of road.
I feel it deep within,
just breathing.
Just hoping.
What has yet to come.
Aftershocks of the full moon
It wasn't love.
Seeing him there.
Like that.
The way his eyes see through me.
No.
It wasn't love.
Aftershocks of a full moon.
That's all it was.
The way it pulls the tides.
Or how it balances time and space.
It was nothing more.
How the light shone behind his eyes.
No. The moon.
How his smile brightened,
pulsed to the rhythms of the Earth.
No. T'was nothing but the moon.
Yet each and every part of me wants
to believe in him.
In his touch.
In his words.
His confidence.
His breath as it mingled with mine.
And know it was so much more than the bright
orb in the distant sky,
pulling us like tides in it's deep and powerful embrace.
I can already see it.
In shades of violet, aqua, scarlet.
Things I do not yet understand or see.
But it is there.
Waiting at the crossroads.
The precipice.
It waits, quietly breathing, in darkness.
Warm and alive, nearly in flame from the heat
of unyielding pull.
Like the race-horse at the gate,
it's heart thumping.
Chomping it's teeth to see what lies beyond.
I can almost see it, waiting on that long stretch of road.
I feel it deep within,
just breathing.
Just hoping.
What has yet to come.
Aftershocks of the full moon
It wasn't love.
Seeing him there.
Like that.
The way his eyes see through me.
No.
It wasn't love.
Aftershocks of a full moon.
That's all it was.
The way it pulls the tides.
Or how it balances time and space.
It was nothing more.
How the light shone behind his eyes.
No. The moon.
How his smile brightened,
pulsed to the rhythms of the Earth.
No. T'was nothing but the moon.
Yet each and every part of me wants
to believe in him.
In his touch.
In his words.
His confidence.
His breath as it mingled with mine.
And know it was so much more than the bright
orb in the distant sky,
pulling us like tides in it's deep and powerful embrace.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Weekly Update
It's been a weird couple of days here. We've had four or five straight days of sunshine and gorgeous weather, which isn't weird. It's been quite nice, really. And the really great news is that the piano job at Augustana came open again for this coming fall. Augie is the private, selective college in our hometown. The more I think about it, the more I realize how homesick I am. Not for Cincinnati, which is weird, considering that is what we considered home since 2002. But homesick for, well, home. This strange longing I can't supress with writing, or photography, or listening to music or anything I've tried. Even talking to my mom and Lesley just seemed to make things worse.
What is happening to me? Because I'm starting to feel this strange sort of pull toward things I've never felt before. Was it the fact I turned 29 and am now close to 30? Why the sudden pang for a baby? Why the pang for Whitey's Ice Cream, or tooling down 23rd Ave with Les in the summer? Or having dinner in the smokiest bar in town, Hafners, eating fried food and drinking beer with my mom and Bert? I heard a Def Leppard song today and thought to myself "this is what home sounds like". Maybe that's why I love classic rock so much, because it sounds like home. Being raised by a man who loved Aerosmith, Clapton and those of the like, one can only imagine why, upon hearing Def Leppard or Boston or AC/DC, I feel like going home.
I think it's because I finally understand what it is I really want out of life. WOW. I knew coming here would make me really get it, but this is just too wild. It took me driving close to 2500 miles to the edge of the country to understand I never should have left it. Isn't that funny? My place? It's with my family. Rob's family. My best friend. In Illinois. I had always believed that I wanted to live in a big city. NYC. Or LA. And become a household name. For people to buy albums with my picture on the front. Or see me in a Broadway show. My life didn't turn out that way. And I'm not upset by that. Not in the least bit. As you all know, I've done such work on myself, on my life, to understand why I do the things I do. Who I am. For real. Not the surface, but deep down. And I know now, that what I've wanted for such a long time is still what I want. To have my own theatre company. It's been my dream for some time now, and I've finally decided to go back to school for my MFA in Theatre. Don't ask me where. I'm not ready to go there yet. The universe has opened up to me this much, and I don't want to push her. She has been so generous in just these two months, and I don't feel like pissing her off.
Long story short, let's hope Rob gets the Augie job so we can move home, I can go to WIU for the theatre program and we can buy a house. Fingers crossed.
Here is a recent pic of Rob and I at the beach.
What is happening to me? Because I'm starting to feel this strange sort of pull toward things I've never felt before. Was it the fact I turned 29 and am now close to 30? Why the sudden pang for a baby? Why the pang for Whitey's Ice Cream, or tooling down 23rd Ave with Les in the summer? Or having dinner in the smokiest bar in town, Hafners, eating fried food and drinking beer with my mom and Bert? I heard a Def Leppard song today and thought to myself "this is what home sounds like". Maybe that's why I love classic rock so much, because it sounds like home. Being raised by a man who loved Aerosmith, Clapton and those of the like, one can only imagine why, upon hearing Def Leppard or Boston or AC/DC, I feel like going home.
I think it's because I finally understand what it is I really want out of life. WOW. I knew coming here would make me really get it, but this is just too wild. It took me driving close to 2500 miles to the edge of the country to understand I never should have left it. Isn't that funny? My place? It's with my family. Rob's family. My best friend. In Illinois. I had always believed that I wanted to live in a big city. NYC. Or LA. And become a household name. For people to buy albums with my picture on the front. Or see me in a Broadway show. My life didn't turn out that way. And I'm not upset by that. Not in the least bit. As you all know, I've done such work on myself, on my life, to understand why I do the things I do. Who I am. For real. Not the surface, but deep down. And I know now, that what I've wanted for such a long time is still what I want. To have my own theatre company. It's been my dream for some time now, and I've finally decided to go back to school for my MFA in Theatre. Don't ask me where. I'm not ready to go there yet. The universe has opened up to me this much, and I don't want to push her. She has been so generous in just these two months, and I don't feel like pissing her off.
Long story short, let's hope Rob gets the Augie job so we can move home, I can go to WIU for the theatre program and we can buy a house. Fingers crossed.
Here is a recent pic of Rob and I at the beach.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Stuff
Okay, can I just say how cool Lost was last night? Did you guys watch it?! I love that Locke lived in a hippie commune with weed growers/farmers in Humboldt County!!! And they mentioned Eureka! We felt like celebs. Funny thing is that these communes really do exist out here. Just open the paper and read the 'for rent' classifieds and you'll find them: people with space on their "farms" where you can come and live and grow shit. It's way too funny.
I started my tutoring position today after three days of training. It's the bomb. I really enjoy it. The kids are great, and my office is way cool. I feel very important.
I apologize to those of you who are awaiting responses to your emails. For some reason Hotmail is f'ed up yet again, and neither one of us can even download the page. It's time for a new computer.
Rob and I have decided that we're heading to San Francisco for a day over Thanksgiving break- we're so close, and Rob's brother Ross and his partner Christopher live in LA. They are driving up for Turkey Day to see friends. So we're going to drive down the day after, see some of the things we haven't yet, have dinner with Ross and Christopher, then drive back the next day. That way we can still see fam, but we won't spend too much $ in the process.
Ugly Betty on in 15 mins. Gotta go!
I started my tutoring position today after three days of training. It's the bomb. I really enjoy it. The kids are great, and my office is way cool. I feel very important.
I apologize to those of you who are awaiting responses to your emails. For some reason Hotmail is f'ed up yet again, and neither one of us can even download the page. It's time for a new computer.
Rob and I have decided that we're heading to San Francisco for a day over Thanksgiving break- we're so close, and Rob's brother Ross and his partner Christopher live in LA. They are driving up for Turkey Day to see friends. So we're going to drive down the day after, see some of the things we haven't yet, have dinner with Ross and Christopher, then drive back the next day. That way we can still see fam, but we won't spend too much $ in the process.
Ugly Betty on in 15 mins. Gotta go!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Mid-week update
Hello fans-
After the birthday orgy of gifts and too much food, I severely paid for it on Sunday afternoon. I laid on the couch most of the day, eating soup and feeling like I was going to die. Rob and I rented Sixteen Candles in honor of my birthday present and settled in for the entire day. It rained all day anyway, so it was appropriate.
All in all, I had a pretty good haul for the birthday. Other than Rob's gifts, I received close to $300 from relatives sending birthday cards. Mom sent me a gift card to Old Navy (yay!) and four bottles of Kraft Light Done Right! French salad dressing. For some reason, California restaurants and grocery stores have something against French dressing, and seeing as it's really the only one I like, Mom hooked me up. Thanks Mom!
As a side note, I was hired last week as the new Math tutor at South Bay School in Eureka. I'll be working mornings every day there, and I've been training the last few days. It's going to be so much fun- I can't wait to start! I'll even have my own office! It will be a great bonus to our already comfortable income- Rob and I want to buy a house, hopefully whenever and wherever the next place we move to. This will help us to save up that much needed down-payment we'll need.
Am looking forward to the holidays, when we'll get to see all our friends and family, including friends in Cincinnati! Yahoo!
After the birthday orgy of gifts and too much food, I severely paid for it on Sunday afternoon. I laid on the couch most of the day, eating soup and feeling like I was going to die. Rob and I rented Sixteen Candles in honor of my birthday present and settled in for the entire day. It rained all day anyway, so it was appropriate.
All in all, I had a pretty good haul for the birthday. Other than Rob's gifts, I received close to $300 from relatives sending birthday cards. Mom sent me a gift card to Old Navy (yay!) and four bottles of Kraft Light Done Right! French salad dressing. For some reason, California restaurants and grocery stores have something against French dressing, and seeing as it's really the only one I like, Mom hooked me up. Thanks Mom!
As a side note, I was hired last week as the new Math tutor at South Bay School in Eureka. I'll be working mornings every day there, and I've been training the last few days. It's going to be so much fun- I can't wait to start! I'll even have my own office! It will be a great bonus to our already comfortable income- Rob and I want to buy a house, hopefully whenever and wherever the next place we move to. This will help us to save up that much needed down-payment we'll need.
Am looking forward to the holidays, when we'll get to see all our friends and family, including friends in Cincinnati! Yahoo!
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Happy Birthday to me
I'm 29 today!
You say it's your birthday!
(Na na na na na na na na)
It's my birthday too, yah.
(Na na na na na na na)
Say it's your birthday!
(Na na na na na na)
Happy Birthday to ya.
Was never much of a Beatles fan, but that song does pretty much rock.
It's been a great birthday so far- the birthday fairy left me a keychain that has quotes from the movie Sixteen Candles- can you really beat Long Duk Dong saying "ohhhhh sexy girlfriend!"? I didn't think so. I'm told by my husband to be ready to go at 6pm for a night on the town and surprises. I can't wait! With more presents to come!
Although I did have to sit through the most god-awful concert last night. The Humboldt Symphony Orchestra played the Mozart symphony no. 31 in D Major. I like Mozart. Always have. Not when it sounds like a 7th grade orchestra though. And, get this, the other piano faculty played Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue with them (the jazz band/wind symphony version is way cooler). Sweet Jesus, it was smokin' bad. This is one of thee sexiest pieces of music ever composed by one of thee most influential and brilliant musicians of the 20th century. Seriously? My dog's ass sounds better. It was really awful. Everyone was saying after "Wasn't it amazing?" and I just had to walk away. I guess that is what four years of listening to music at CCM will do to a person...spoil you!
More to come tomorrow after the bevy of birthday ends.
Thanks for the funniest card I've ever seen in my life, Les! love you too!
Continued....
Had a great birthday evening! Rob took me out to Hurricane Kate's, this very hip, California-style (duh) meal. We feasted on a lovely pinot noir, a mediterranean appetizer plate with tahini, hummus, pita, and olives. It was amazing. Next came Pork Saltimboca with Leek and garlic-infused mashed potatoes and organic farmer's market vegies. It was perfect. We walked down the street to Gabriel's where we had our anniversary meal. We finished the evening with chocolate cake and coffee. On the way home I received a phone call from my brother Jake and sister Abby wishing me Happy Birthday. It was such a pleasant surprise to talk to them!
To end the evening, Rob also got me three bars of real swiss dark chocolate, two pumpkins for carving, and a day at the spa! Not a bad haul for turning 29.
Leaving you with a pic from the bar at Kate's.
You say it's your birthday!
(Na na na na na na na na)
It's my birthday too, yah.
(Na na na na na na na)
Say it's your birthday!
(Na na na na na na)
Happy Birthday to ya.
Was never much of a Beatles fan, but that song does pretty much rock.
It's been a great birthday so far- the birthday fairy left me a keychain that has quotes from the movie Sixteen Candles- can you really beat Long Duk Dong saying "ohhhhh sexy girlfriend!"? I didn't think so. I'm told by my husband to be ready to go at 6pm for a night on the town and surprises. I can't wait! With more presents to come!
Although I did have to sit through the most god-awful concert last night. The Humboldt Symphony Orchestra played the Mozart symphony no. 31 in D Major. I like Mozart. Always have. Not when it sounds like a 7th grade orchestra though. And, get this, the other piano faculty played Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue with them (the jazz band/wind symphony version is way cooler). Sweet Jesus, it was smokin' bad. This is one of thee sexiest pieces of music ever composed by one of thee most influential and brilliant musicians of the 20th century. Seriously? My dog's ass sounds better. It was really awful. Everyone was saying after "Wasn't it amazing?" and I just had to walk away. I guess that is what four years of listening to music at CCM will do to a person...spoil you!
More to come tomorrow after the bevy of birthday ends.
Thanks for the funniest card I've ever seen in my life, Les! love you too!
Continued....
Had a great birthday evening! Rob took me out to Hurricane Kate's, this very hip, California-style (duh) meal. We feasted on a lovely pinot noir, a mediterranean appetizer plate with tahini, hummus, pita, and olives. It was amazing. Next came Pork Saltimboca with Leek and garlic-infused mashed potatoes and organic farmer's market vegies. It was perfect. We walked down the street to Gabriel's where we had our anniversary meal. We finished the evening with chocolate cake and coffee. On the way home I received a phone call from my brother Jake and sister Abby wishing me Happy Birthday. It was such a pleasant surprise to talk to them!
To end the evening, Rob also got me three bars of real swiss dark chocolate, two pumpkins for carving, and a day at the spa! Not a bad haul for turning 29.
Leaving you with a pic from the bar at Kate's.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Weekly Update
Well, it was bound to happen, I guess. My first California cold. I kind of figured I would have gotten it last week, when Rob got it. Nope. It decided to creep it's ugly head today (Monday) of all days. I went to work and felt okay, however, a few hours later I was burning up and had the mother of all sore throats. So I'm doing my tried and true remedy of gargling with salt water- disgusting... who ever thought of this?- and E-mer-gen-C. Usually I can head off the gross stuff at the pass with this. Hopefully it will just go up into my head and nose, which I would much prefer over a sore throat and chest cold.
The weekend was quite boring, as Rob was on death's door. Thursday was the Kidsclub party. The kids had a blast- jammies and popcorn and Spongebob on the TV. It was a riot. Here is a pic of Kristin and I with the kids (yay for blogger! Posting the pics makes Ally happy)
Friday, Rob and I headed down to the DMV to get our licenses and register the car. Rob was able to do his, but due to the fact I didn't have the proper US indentification, I wasn't allowed to get mine. I had a hospital birth certificate, not a county birth certificate. I understand California has to be a little more strict what with all the immigration laws out here, but come on people! Would you mistake me for a threat to national security? Idiots. So mom is sending the passport- hopefully that will suffice. We stayed at home Friday night and watched a Kathy Bates movie- love her.
Saturday was teaching day, then out to another Arts Alive in Old Town. We only stayed out for a little while, due to Rob's nasty virus. Sunday was a lazy, doing the laundry and dropping my film off at the developer. Rob played a concert last night to commemorate the anniversary of Schumann's death. He was great, despite feeling so yucky. The others? Zzzzzzzzzz. I could do without.
Next Sunday, we are staring Lindy Hop/Swing lessons. We were going to start Tango last weekend, but Rob was ill, and last night we had to be at HSU for Rob's performance. It was a sign to us that Tango will have to wait- Lindy Hop won't!
And of course, I turn the big 29 on Saturday. Rob is planning on taking me to this hip little restaurant in Old Town called Hurricane Kate's. Reminds me a lot of Kona Bistro in Oakley. I hope the food is as good.
Ciao.
The weekend was quite boring, as Rob was on death's door. Thursday was the Kidsclub party. The kids had a blast- jammies and popcorn and Spongebob on the TV. It was a riot. Here is a pic of Kristin and I with the kids (yay for blogger! Posting the pics makes Ally happy)
Friday, Rob and I headed down to the DMV to get our licenses and register the car. Rob was able to do his, but due to the fact I didn't have the proper US indentification, I wasn't allowed to get mine. I had a hospital birth certificate, not a county birth certificate. I understand California has to be a little more strict what with all the immigration laws out here, but come on people! Would you mistake me for a threat to national security? Idiots. So mom is sending the passport- hopefully that will suffice. We stayed at home Friday night and watched a Kathy Bates movie- love her.
Saturday was teaching day, then out to another Arts Alive in Old Town. We only stayed out for a little while, due to Rob's nasty virus. Sunday was a lazy, doing the laundry and dropping my film off at the developer. Rob played a concert last night to commemorate the anniversary of Schumann's death. He was great, despite feeling so yucky. The others? Zzzzzzzzzz. I could do without.
Next Sunday, we are staring Lindy Hop/Swing lessons. We were going to start Tango last weekend, but Rob was ill, and last night we had to be at HSU for Rob's performance. It was a sign to us that Tango will have to wait- Lindy Hop won't!
And of course, I turn the big 29 on Saturday. Rob is planning on taking me to this hip little restaurant in Old Town called Hurricane Kate's. Reminds me a lot of Kona Bistro in Oakley. I hope the food is as good.
Ciao.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Random tidbits...
Yet another TV show has taken over part of my existence... the season premiere of Lost is tonight. It's something I've been waiting for for months. Did Desmond live? Who is the woman we saw in the finale? What will happen to Michael and Walt? What do The Others want with Sawyer, Jack and Kate? And seriously, who are The Others? I'm hoping we find out this year.
I spent two hours online last night, securing tickets home for Christmas. Tickets from Arcata to Moline, IL were going to be $900 a piece! Yikes. So we decided to drive down to SF the day before, fly out of Oakland to O'Hare, and rent a car to drive home to the QC. It will be a lot of hassle, but we're saving about $1200 doing it this way. I'll take the driving down to SF, spending a day in the hippest city I've ever been to, then flying out the next morning. We'll be home for 9 days, which will be a much needed vacation with fam and friends. Hopefully we'll get a day or two to visit the Nati. Miss you guys!
Tomorrow is the first Kidsclub party of the year- I can't wait! We have a Reward Board up in class- when the kids are good (quiet during homework time, fast clean up during snack, and good sportsmanship during games) they earn points toward parties. Once our mascot, Spongebob Squarepants, reaches his pineapple, the kids are rewarded with a party! Tomorrow is pajama day. We will be in our jammies, eating popcorn and drinking hot cocoa- super fun!
Oh, and another random bit of information... for those of you who read the blog often, you'll be pleased to know I heard from him. The Artist. I sent him a letter about two weeks back, where it finally reached him in New Mexico, of all places. It was such a pleasant surprise to see his name in my inbox, along with a picture of him and his latest work.
Weather here has been so disgusting for the past few days. COLD COLD COLD. And rainy as well. I guess I'd better get used to it. Sun is supposed to come out in a few days. I'll keep my fingers crossed for that.
Rob is still looking for jobs for the next academic year. We enjoy life here, but HSU isn't a long-term kind of place for someone as musically stellar as my husband. And Eureka isn't a long-term kind of place for someone as poor as us- two bedroom shacks (and I mean SHACKS) run about $200,000. Think of what that would buy in our hometown. Sad. Anyway, for my Nati friends, there is a piano job open at Georgetown U, near Lexington. Sooooo, there may be a slight chance of us moving back. We're still thinking about it. Who knows...?
I spent two hours online last night, securing tickets home for Christmas. Tickets from Arcata to Moline, IL were going to be $900 a piece! Yikes. So we decided to drive down to SF the day before, fly out of Oakland to O'Hare, and rent a car to drive home to the QC. It will be a lot of hassle, but we're saving about $1200 doing it this way. I'll take the driving down to SF, spending a day in the hippest city I've ever been to, then flying out the next morning. We'll be home for 9 days, which will be a much needed vacation with fam and friends. Hopefully we'll get a day or two to visit the Nati. Miss you guys!
Tomorrow is the first Kidsclub party of the year- I can't wait! We have a Reward Board up in class- when the kids are good (quiet during homework time, fast clean up during snack, and good sportsmanship during games) they earn points toward parties. Once our mascot, Spongebob Squarepants, reaches his pineapple, the kids are rewarded with a party! Tomorrow is pajama day. We will be in our jammies, eating popcorn and drinking hot cocoa- super fun!
Oh, and another random bit of information... for those of you who read the blog often, you'll be pleased to know I heard from him. The Artist. I sent him a letter about two weeks back, where it finally reached him in New Mexico, of all places. It was such a pleasant surprise to see his name in my inbox, along with a picture of him and his latest work.
Weather here has been so disgusting for the past few days. COLD COLD COLD. And rainy as well. I guess I'd better get used to it. Sun is supposed to come out in a few days. I'll keep my fingers crossed for that.
Rob is still looking for jobs for the next academic year. We enjoy life here, but HSU isn't a long-term kind of place for someone as musically stellar as my husband. And Eureka isn't a long-term kind of place for someone as poor as us- two bedroom shacks (and I mean SHACKS) run about $200,000. Think of what that would buy in our hometown. Sad. Anyway, for my Nati friends, there is a piano job open at Georgetown U, near Lexington. Sooooo, there may be a slight chance of us moving back. We're still thinking about it. Who knows...?
Monday, October 02, 2006
Weekly Update
Had a bit of an emotional breakdown last night. No. A break-through. I'll get to that momentarily.
We had a nice, albeit boring weekend at home. Friday was the school carnival, which was so fun. They had popcorn, corn dogs, spin art, wax hands, the cake walk, karaoke. I thought about getting my groove on in front of all the kids, but decided against it. Rob and I bought ten game tickets, used two, and then I gave the rest of them away to my favorite kids. We had mexican food after, and came home.
Saturday we both taught, then ran some errands before hitting the grocery. We rented an Ethan Hawke flick and called it a night.
We were to start our tango class yesterday, but Rob had a huge headache and sore throat (it seems to be going around quite a bit here in Humboldt). We ended up staying at home and watching D. Housewives.
I'm not sure what exactly came over me last night. I was watching tv, Rob was in bed doing his sudoku. I suddenly became sad, not for sure as to why, but felt like the weight of the world was on my chest. I then realized how lonely I felt. How I missed my friends. Chuck, Charlie, B, Mark, Kels. All of you. I missed being able to sit with someone and just talk. About real things, things that mattered. And I realized that I was afraid to say those things to Rob. Why? Shouldn't you want to share your inner-most feelings and thoughts with your spouse? Isn't that what I had always envisioned a life with someone would be like? Not afraid to share your passions? My thoughts were reeling, about men in my past. Had I married ______, would I be able to tell them everything? Why is Rob different? Because we don't talk that way with one another any more? We used to, when we first started dating 6 years ago. But that all melts away. Life becomes monotony. You settle into a pattern with someone. And I realized I had become asexual. At least it's how I felt. I came to bed, and Rob sensed I was feeling off. He asked what was wrong, and I said all the things I had just mentioned. Fearlessly. He said "Instead of talking about communicating, why don't you just do it. Tell me what you feel". I waited. Rob said he needed to go to bed (it was late). He rolled over and I started to cry. Uncontrollably. Heaving sobs, the kind where you can't even speak. He held me and asked "What is going on?"... and it was this moment I realized it.
Realized what, you ask? Well, that's my little secret, isn't it? Just know that I figured out a piece of myself, of my marriage. It's mine. I'm going to keep it hidden away in a place that I will only tell you about if you ask me. It was a surreal moment, life-altering and beautiful, and I feel the universe is slowly beginning to reveal her secrets to me, one by one.
We had a nice, albeit boring weekend at home. Friday was the school carnival, which was so fun. They had popcorn, corn dogs, spin art, wax hands, the cake walk, karaoke. I thought about getting my groove on in front of all the kids, but decided against it. Rob and I bought ten game tickets, used two, and then I gave the rest of them away to my favorite kids. We had mexican food after, and came home.
Saturday we both taught, then ran some errands before hitting the grocery. We rented an Ethan Hawke flick and called it a night.
We were to start our tango class yesterday, but Rob had a huge headache and sore throat (it seems to be going around quite a bit here in Humboldt). We ended up staying at home and watching D. Housewives.
I'm not sure what exactly came over me last night. I was watching tv, Rob was in bed doing his sudoku. I suddenly became sad, not for sure as to why, but felt like the weight of the world was on my chest. I then realized how lonely I felt. How I missed my friends. Chuck, Charlie, B, Mark, Kels. All of you. I missed being able to sit with someone and just talk. About real things, things that mattered. And I realized that I was afraid to say those things to Rob. Why? Shouldn't you want to share your inner-most feelings and thoughts with your spouse? Isn't that what I had always envisioned a life with someone would be like? Not afraid to share your passions? My thoughts were reeling, about men in my past. Had I married ______, would I be able to tell them everything? Why is Rob different? Because we don't talk that way with one another any more? We used to, when we first started dating 6 years ago. But that all melts away. Life becomes monotony. You settle into a pattern with someone. And I realized I had become asexual. At least it's how I felt. I came to bed, and Rob sensed I was feeling off. He asked what was wrong, and I said all the things I had just mentioned. Fearlessly. He said "Instead of talking about communicating, why don't you just do it. Tell me what you feel". I waited. Rob said he needed to go to bed (it was late). He rolled over and I started to cry. Uncontrollably. Heaving sobs, the kind where you can't even speak. He held me and asked "What is going on?"... and it was this moment I realized it.
Realized what, you ask? Well, that's my little secret, isn't it? Just know that I figured out a piece of myself, of my marriage. It's mine. I'm going to keep it hidden away in a place that I will only tell you about if you ask me. It was a surreal moment, life-altering and beautiful, and I feel the universe is slowly beginning to reveal her secrets to me, one by one.
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