Weekly Update

It's been a weird couple of days here. We've had four or five straight days of sunshine and gorgeous weather, which isn't weird. It's been quite nice, really. And the really great news is that the piano job at Augustana came open again for this coming fall. Augie is the private, selective college in our hometown. The more I think about it, the more I realize how homesick I am. Not for Cincinnati, which is weird, considering that is what we considered home since 2002. But homesick for, well, home. This strange longing I can't supress with writing, or photography, or listening to music or anything I've tried. Even talking to my mom and Lesley just seemed to make things worse.

What is happening to me? Because I'm starting to feel this strange sort of pull toward things I've never felt before. Was it the fact I turned 29 and am now close to 30? Why the sudden pang for a baby? Why the pang for Whitey's Ice Cream, or tooling down 23rd Ave with Les in the summer? Or having dinner in the smokiest bar in town, Hafners, eating fried food and drinking beer with my mom and Bert? I heard a Def Leppard song today and thought to myself "this is what home sounds like". Maybe that's why I love classic rock so much, because it sounds like home. Being raised by a man who loved Aerosmith, Clapton and those of the like, one can only imagine why, upon hearing Def Leppard or Boston or AC/DC, I feel like going home.

I think it's because I finally understand what it is I really want out of life. WOW. I knew coming here would make me really get it, but this is just too wild. It took me driving close to 2500 miles to the edge of the country to understand I never should have left it. Isn't that funny? My place? It's with my family. Rob's family. My best friend. In Illinois. I had always believed that I wanted to live in a big city. NYC. Or LA. And become a household name. For people to buy albums with my picture on the front. Or see me in a Broadway show. My life didn't turn out that way. And I'm not upset by that. Not in the least bit. As you all know, I've done such work on myself, on my life, to understand why I do the things I do. Who I am. For real. Not the surface, but deep down. And I know now, that what I've wanted for such a long time is still what I want. To have my own theatre company. It's been my dream for some time now, and I've finally decided to go back to school for my MFA in Theatre. Don't ask me where. I'm not ready to go there yet. The universe has opened up to me this much, and I don't want to push her. She has been so generous in just these two months, and I don't feel like pissing her off.

Long story short, let's hope Rob gets the Augie job so we can move home, I can go to WIU for the theatre program and we can buy a house. Fingers crossed.

Here is a recent pic of Rob and I at the beach.