Milestones

Okay, okay. Sorry for not posting in the last few days. I keep seeing readers checking my blog, probably hoping to get a glimpse as to what is going on. The week has been pretty boring. Nothing to write home about. Oh yeah. Except that Rob and I are trying to have a baby.


WHAT???

Yes, it's true. Now I'm sure there are a few readers on here who are thinking "Why didn't you tell me? God what a horrible friend you are" (I'm mainly thinking of D here). But with the holidays and my recital and everything else, it just didn't come up. Sorry friends! You know I love you.

Now, for the 4 people who read this blog, back to the baby chat. It was a few weeks ago, when I just realized, "I'm ready". I think a big hurdle was getting past all the shit that has burdened me for years and realizing it was good to let it go. A year ago, I could barely take care of myself, let alone another person. But I've been having crazy baby radar for a few weeks now, and Rob and I are officially trying. Well... we're not trying, but we're not not trying. If it happens, yay. If it doesn't, that's fine, too. But we're kinda hoping it does....

In other news, Rob and I spent this evening down in the Village of East Davenport at the Christmas Walk. Every year, for two weekends, this small Victorian Village puts on a beautiful Christmas Walk with food, music, Sleigh Rides and Santa. The Turner Hall is there, where our theatre space is located, and we spent about 90 minutes singing some Christmas tunes and whatnot. It was fun when a group of youngsters came in and sang "Rudolph" with me, complete with all the interjections i.e. "Like a lightbulb!"

The Village at Christmas


Rob and I have decided to head to NYC in March to visit Kels and her husband Josh. (Kels played Svetlana in Chess with me last year) We are so thrilled to get back to the city, as it was Thanksgiving of 2004 the last time we were there. Now that the Stagehand Strike is over, we're hoping to get to see some shows. Although I'm ready to head off-Broadway this time for some GOOD theatre, not the over-priced, over-produced crap we saw last time. Don't get me wrong, seeing Wicked and Rent both live and in-person in New York wasn't anything to shake a stick at. But I'm ready to see some great performances rather than the glitz.

So. That's it for now my lovelies.

Week in Review

Well hello, fair readers. I do trust that all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. Ours was pretty great, too. Rob ate about six desserts on Thursday, which led to lots of stomach aches throughout the following days, but we had a blast. Let's recount, shall we?

Wednesday night, Rob and I decided to go see Enchanted, which was the first time we've been to a movie since June! I'll tell you, it was quite adorable. I am totally in love with Amy Adams (of Junebug and Catch me if you can), who plays Giselle, the Disney-esqe princess who falls down a wishing well on her wedding day, only to end up under a manhole in Times Square. It wasn't sugary-sweet as you might expect, and it was really quite an entertaining, girl-power sort of movie. Rob loved it too, as the performances in this production were spot on. Also, Idina Menzel of Wicked fame stars as Patrick Dempsey's high-powered New York fashion designer girlfriend. If you get the chance, go see it! It was a perfect ending to a night filled with cold and blowing midwestern snow and ice.



Thursday we finally got to see our fam, which included our little 3 year old nephew Enzo. Boy does he love his Aunt Allison and Uncle Rob. He had a great time playing with his trucks with Uncle Rob.


A few months back, Rob and I taught Enzo to "Rock Out". It's nice to know it's sticking.


To end the day, Enzo got a monster piece of chocolate cake. Back at Mom's after the big day, he continued to spin and sing uncontrollably until he would fall in my lap. It was awesome.


After a long day, Rob crawled into bed with the dogs. Aren't they cute?


Lou, Tina, Enzo, Rob and me


We were able to spend some quality time with the fam while they were here before they headed back to Michigan Sunday morning.

Sunday afternoon was my big recital! I totally rocked it, and only had two brain farts during the performance. All my dearest friends and family were there to enjoy, as well as my students. It was a great day, ending with pizza at Old Chicago, and wine and chocolates with my girlfriends Ann and Les. All in all, a great weekend.

Turkey Time

Happy Thanksgiving to all. I do hope that all of you have a wonderful day with family, friends... and food. May you all have full bellies and be thankful for whatever it is that makes you happy! I'll be snuggling with my nephew and eating lots of green bean casserole and my caramel walnut shortbread tart (it is as good as it sounds).

In other news, YES! Our theatre company is now a non-profit entity, filed under the IRS' 501c3 public charity. WAHOO! This means anyone can now donate to our organization tax free! The big one is that we are eligible for government and foundational grants. That basically means free money. YAY for us!

Yesterday was a bit surreal for me. I ran into an ex-boyfriends Mom. Wow was that weird. She was always so wonderful to me, despite her son being a fuckhead. We chatted for a few minutes, and she told me that he is going to Palmer (the chiropractic school here in town), married and has a 2 year old daughter. Ouch. I can't imagine him married and having a child. I hope he doesn't fuck her up too bad. Ah well, Rob and I schmoozed a bit about how awesome we are. Lets hope it gets back to him. I love schmoozing. You can tell someone how great your life is and leave out all the bad stuff. Like "My husband is a doctor of music and teaches at Augustana. I own my own vocal studio and just formed my own theatre company". We always leave stuff out like "We're so god-awful broke and our credit sucks so bad that we can't buy a house". Makes me wonder what she left out talking about him.

My voice recital is this weekend- anyone interested in coming should send me a message and I'll tell you when and where!

Happy Day

Got the letter today.

Our little theatre company is now tax-exempt!

YAHOO!!!!!!

Now send me money. You can write it off on your taxes...????

Week in Review

Can you believe Thanksgiving is in 5 days?? I surely cannot, as it was just Halloween, was it not?



Ah Thanksgiving... It's a wonderful time for family, friends, and eating. I love to eat. I'm an eater. I am not afraid to admit it. That is mostly why I joined Weight Watchers. Speaking of which, I am down another pound. Weight loss to date? 6 pounds. Go me.

Back to the point. Thanksgiving this year is going to be great. It is the first Thanksgiving we've been home for in many years. For my faithful readers, you'll remember how depressed we both were last year, being so far from everyone we knew and loved. We got sloppy drunk just to get through the day. The year before, 2005, was a blast, as Keith, Erin and Jason joined us for the days festivities. We were drunk that day, too, but nothing compared to Keith's Butter Boat performance (if you're curious, send me an e-mail!). This year, my sister and brother-in-law will be down with my nephew Enzo, and Lou's sister Katie (would that make her my sister-in-law, too?? I don't think so). We'll all be heading to Ridgecrest (a retirement community), where my grandparents live to eat 'til we want to vomit. Well, they will. Rob and I will eat in moderation, as we both will have to weigh in on Saturday. Who knows what the rest of the weekend will have in store. Hopefully lots of cuddles with Enzo.

Rob and Enzo, this past summer


Have any of you had a moment when you realize something about yourself? Well, I've been having many of those lately. Some good and some bad. I'm not going into detail, considering I know who reads this blog now. But I will say that I'm not ashamed that I have been seeing a counselor the past few months. She is a wonderful woman who I saw years ago when I was first diagnosed with depression/anxiety disorder. She has helped me get through many things that I burden myself with, and when we moved back home, I still realized that I had much to work on. Sure I may joke about how I'm in "therapy", but I know the importance of her work, and what she has allowed me to work on and see in session and out. Recently, I've been working on self-acceptance (not an easy task) and the ability to express love. This second one has been the hardest of all, for so many reasons. But I'm happy that I can see these things clearly, and understand the hurdles I must get over to live my best life. I used to be so afraid. I know now that I used to think if I allowed myself to feel, the grief might overwhelm me. What I've learned is that isn't the case. Bring on the ugly stuff, please. I'm ready.


Ike is healthy! We took him back to the shelter today and dropped off some donations. The staff was so happy to see him visit, and said how good he looked. They kept saying he looked happy, which of course, made us ecstatic. So often we feel that maybe it was a mistake to bring him home, with all the health problems he's had and such. But being there with them and seeing them beam at how happy and healthy he is made us realize we made the right choice with him. Such a happy little guy.

Paralyzed

Oh my...

Leaving Cincinnati last weekend was probably the hardest thing I had to do in a long time. Like leaving it the first time all those months ago for our disappointing adventure in California.




I will often get pangs for San Francisco. Or San Diego. These are the parts of CA I desperately love and miss. But not like Cincinnati.

I am unsure what it is about the place that I love so much. The people, yes, of course. Maybe it's the fact that the theatre community is established there, and I know I'm facing an uphill battle here in the QC. Not that I'm not up for that! I respect the small, hard-working theatre organizations in this fine little secret part of the world. But I miss being able to check CinStages and finding there are 10 shows I can audition for if I want to.

Maybe it's because in the past week, I've been asked twice by folks from Cincinnati companies to come and audition for them. Ugh. What I would give to be able to stick around and work with them again, but no.


Leaving was paralyzing. It was like I was being pulled in two directions. For reasons I won't go into on my blog. I just miss my friends. I love that I'm making new friends right and left here. But no one can compare to Charlie. Sweet, lovable, blunt Charlie. Or my Chuck, who changed my life. Or B. Or Matt or J. Or Mark or P-dub or Alan or any single person I was so lucky to have touch my life.



I miss you guys.

The Incredibly Shrinking Woman: Part II

For my faithful readers, many will remember that 18 months ago, I was in the middle of the production of Chess. During that time, I started my Pilates regimen that I've stuck with ever since, and my body started to change. I usually always lose weight during a show, but this was a big deal for me. As I've aged, I've come to understand how hard it is to stay slim. I was not blessed with a beautiful metabolism that allows me to eat potato chips for dinner (wouldn't that be awesome??) like I was able to do at 22. At 30, I really have to work to stay healthy. I work out every day, I eat right, I drink a lot of water, I very rarely drink alcohol, I don't smoke, and I get plenty of sleep. I usually feel pretty great, with the exception of not getting enough sleep or water.

Back to the point. Last year, I was able to get down to a size 10 during the run of Chess (read about it here). That was a big thing for me, as I've struggled with my weight ever since I turned 24.

Since joining Weight Watchers again 6 weeks ago, Rob and I have been dropping the weight and feeling good. My old pal size 10's from Old Navy were feeling a bit big the last few weeks. But while in Cincinnati, a worn place right on the upper thigh of the pants finally broke through, and there was my milky white buttcheek, hanging out for the whole world to see (sorry to Nati friends if you caught a glimpse). It was too late for me to run and get a new pair before the evening's festivities, so I went out with that giant hole in my ass. Ah well... I knew it was time to buy a new pair, but I was concerned about buying another size 10 when I knew size 8's were not too far ahead. Today, I bought a new pair of jeans. And check it out.


Size 8's, baby!!!! F*CK YEAH! I haven't been a size 8 since I was 15! It's a happy day. I'd really like to celebrate with a giant slice of Eli's cheesecake, but I think I'll pass.

My new obsession

Thanks to all at D's party for making me obsessed with this.

Omigod. Shoes.

Week in Review

With Ike being sick, not sleeping for weeks on end, and just feeling a general malaise, I hoped a few days in Cincinnati would help me to relax. Well, I didn't have much time to do that, but being there definitely helped me to set the reset button, which was something I desperately needed to do after the crazy month Rob and I have had.

Rob had the opportunity to accompany the Augie choir, as well as accompany the district choir fest in DeKalb on Saturday, so I headed off all by my lonesome to the great state of Ohio. The drive both there and back was gorgeous, as 90% of the trees still retained their leaves, and the colors were spectacular.

Arriving in the Nati at 3, I quickly got ready while having a catch-up conversation with my pal Matt, who I was staying with. I headed over to CCM and listened in on Jess' lesson (Jess is my old student I sent to Pat when we left for CA). After, it was my turn to sing, where I proceeded to have about the best voice lesson I've had in my entire life. It rocked. Pat and I headed over to Universal Grille for some wine, grub and gossip before we made our way to the Jarson-Kaplan to see my pals in Follies.

Follies is a ridiculously hard Sondheim show, with a great storyline and super music. However, this production lacked most due to the fact there was no vocal director. Which I found odd because most CMT shows always have a vocal director. Especially if it's Sondheim. Oh well, I was entertained for a few hours, and that was all I was asking for.

Friday morning I was off to see Nikki, goddess-hairstylist, who fixed the chunky-ass cut I got a few weeks ago. Nikki is the best. I've made the decision that every time I need a haircut, I'm going back to Nati. It's a great excuse to get back and see everyone, and get a great cut at the same time.

My baby Chuck and I enjoyed a much-needed coffee talk over noodles at Shanghai Mamma's downtown, before meeting everyone over at Below Zero for cocktails late in the evening. I had a nice conversation with P-dub regarding joining the military (sorry P-dub love, you still can't convince me on that whole "buddy program" idea), and B showed up, sporting his long locks that inspired everyone to say "that guy looks like Matthew McConaughey". I drank way too many martinis and probably said some inappropriate things, but whatever, right? And everyone liked the fact that I'm starting to wear red lipstick. It was one of my decisions of turning 30 was that I was going to start wearing red lipstick. It's hot.


Jason, Jonathan, Blake and Chuck at Below Zero.


On the left, P-dub, and Alan with his "Pucker of Death".



Chuck and I, with my own Pucker of Death.



Chuck and Jonathan.

Being in the Nati only made me realize how much I miss the GD place. I miss my friends. I miss the theatre community. I miss the city. I never thought I would say this, but I'd love to move back someday. I love that place.

Saturday, hungover and groaning with embarrassment over things I had said the night before, I packed up the car and headed home. Ike and Maddy were thrilled to see me, and I did a few things to get ready for D's belated Halloween party. It was a grand night of good friends and crazy costumes. Check them out.

Julian, Peggy and D



Rosie the Riveter a.k.a. Beth



JC... am unsure of the costume.


Andy, looking quite disheveled


D and I. Yes, I was an 80's rock chick. Wishing I could find that hot pink wig....

Sorry

Dear readers, sorry for being MIA these past few days. Ike ended up getting sick... again. Monday night the poor little guy threw up ALL OVER the house. After counting, it turned out to be something like 10 times he got sick. Worried, I called the vet and brought him in yesterday. They drew blood and gave him a shot of an anti-emetic so he'd stop throwing up. Too bad it made him so drowsy, he fell asleep standing up. *UGH* I fed him SmartWater through a giant plastic syringe all day yesterday (he was so tired he wouldn't drink from his bowl) and slept through the night. This morning it's as if our old dog is back. The vet called and said Ike's white cell count was through the roof, and his liver enzymes didn't look so good. So, he's obviously still fighting something. To add to it all, Ike has a thyroid problem as well. Ike is now taking two anti-biotics as well as a thyroid pill. Doc says Ike should be right as rain in a month, and that his coat and skin will begin to change as a result of the meds. It's nice to finally know what the F is wrong with this dog, and to know that he is finally on the mend.

Tomorrow I'm off to the Nati to see everyone! YAY! I can't wait to see you all! *SMOOCH*

For Derek...

Art isn't easy

This is what Merriam-Webster says of art-

the conscious use of skill and creative imagination especially in the production of aesthetic objects; also ; works so produced ; fine arts ; one of the fine arts ; a graphic art

And subsequently, an artist-

one skilled or versed in learned arts ;one who professes and practices an imaginative art ; a person skilled in one of the fine arts

My junior year of college, I took a class entitled Philosophy of Art. At that time in my life, I was 20... a young 20, mind you. I didn't like the professor. I didn't like the other students in the class. But as a grown woman, I wish I would've paid more attention to the subject matter discussed in this class. Here's why.

I've been thinking a lot lately, about what constitutes ART. The title of this blog stems from a line in Sondheim's Sunday in the Park with George. In Act II, George is giving a presentation of his new art installation and sings a rousing rendition of "Putting it Together", about the troubles of creating a success with modern art.

As a musical theatre actor, I am not alone in thinking that Stephen Sondheim is pure genius. For nearly 50 years, this man has given the world the most amazing, beautiful, lyrical pieces ever heard or seen on stage. Sunday in the Park with George is considered to be his masterpiece by those in musical theatre land. However, Sunday, to most, would be considered a "failure", as it didn't seem to find it's audience (this was in the early 80's) and wasn't a "commercial success".

There are many people in the world who would look at what I do and consider me just "an actor" or "a singer". First off, I am a musician. There IS a difference. Secondly, I am an artist. Each actor, singer, painter, sculptor, dancer and writer will tell you there is a craft, a learned skill to what they do. After living in this skin for 30 years, I've begun to understand that what you have is about 3% talent. The other 97% is hard work.

Who gets to decide whether or not something is art? Whether or not it's aesthetically pleasing? While I find walking through an art museum about as fun as a visit to the gynecologist, I still respect and understand what the artist was trying to accomplish and know that what they have done (besides expressing themselves) was meant to change ideas and possibly how others think. I'm sure there are plenty of visual artists out there who find musical theatre to be about as fun as that visit to the gyno. I hope they understand and respect it just like I would with their art.

My brother-in-law is an art historian. His focus is Modern Design Theory. To be honest, he hates everything. The more obscure it is, then to him, it's art. If most people can't understand it, again, art. Before I married Rob, I would've been intimidated by him, hated him, and found him to be a snob. On the contrary, I find him absolutely fascinating. He is so passionate, so fervent and charged when it comes to what he likes and dislikes. He lives in a world I will never know, or frankly, care to know. Yet he's allowed me to understand that art is objective. My mom has a lighthouse painted on a mirror hanging somewhere in her house (it's really quite awful). But it makes her happy because she loves lighthouses. If you come to my house, you'll find original art as well as black and white photographs I've taken over the years. I'm sure there will be many folks who come into my home and think that my beautiful painting by my pal Sloan is god-awful, for it's use of bright colors and obscure angles. But I love it.

So. Here is what I think. Art is like wine. You can choose to be a snob about it. Or you can buy what you like. So what if Wine Spectator gave it a 98? It could very well taste like swill. Sometimes you just want a bottle of Boone's Farm (Hi Mags). Or in this case, a lighthouse painted on a mirror.

Sing. Dance. Act. Paint. Sculpt. Write.

Create.

When the day is done, just be happy in knowing that what you do benefits the most important person.

You.