Pretty Good Year

Tori Amos is a genius. Granted, over the last few years, she's gotten a little.... wacky, I guess is the proper term. But she wrote a song included on her 1994 album Under the Pink entitled Pretty Good Year. When I gave my first vocal recital in 9 years this past November, I included the song on the program, and even named my recital "Pretty Good Year". I wanted to show just how much I had grown since New Years Eve 2006. This has probably been the most eventful year of my life, no doubt about that. So much has happened in my life, physically, mentally and emotionally. And now it's time to recount it all.

Since a year ago today, I overcame a pretty nasty bout of depression. Stemming from who knows what while living in California (no theatre, no singing, no students, no sunshine, no culture), what Kevin calls the Green Monster was long gone by June. It wasn't nearly as bad as my bout with the Green Monster back in 2000/2001, but still unpleasant.
That being said, I overcame a pretty nasty 11 months on the humid, chilly, dirty, rainy coast of California. I never miss it. Oh sure, I miss San Francisco, and wine country, but never Humboldt County.
Living in California was horrible and wonderful, all rolled into one little package. It's like Kels says, sometimes you need all that quiet to hear what your soul is trying to tell you. She was right. I tried so long to fight what was screaming at me. Once I accepted it, my life has never been so full, so awake. I found myself there, in every sense of that idea. I began to realize owning your own ugliness and beauty is what makes you who you are. For this, I will never regret those 11 months on the coast.

Rob and I at Sebastiani Winery, Sonoma, CA

In addition, I focused on my marriage. The majority of what stood in our path as a couple was me owning up to who and what I was. I still see a life coach, every few weeks. She has brought me to a level of understanding I could never fathom. She has helped me to understand that I cannot change my past. That I am only in control of my own feelings and emotions, and that I am not at fault for the way my childhood turned out. Because of this, I realized I am free. I accept who my parents are, who I am. This has allowed me to understand and love my relationship with my husband.


Last night in CA

I feel like the year was chopped in half. That I lived two lives over the course of these 12 months. And it's true, I kind of did. Once we returned to the QC from California, life became disjointed and confusing for a few months. I never truly felt like I "lived" here until early November. After living away from this place for 5 years, each time I had come home I was just visiting. I felt "just visiting" for many months. I started teaching at my home studio at the end of August, and my studio has grown nicely since. In Septemeber, I incorporated my theatre company. In October, I filed for non-profit status, and by the beginning of November, we were granted that status.
A few days after getting back to town, I was honored by being asked to take part in New Stage Collective's production of The Last Five Years. I found it fitting, having been away from the QC for 5 years, and having grown as a person those 11 months in CA, to be able to take on the role of Cathy with my dear friend Michael Shawn. It was my first time on stage in 15 months (since Chess), and I relished each and every moment of those 90 minutes with Michael, Alan, and the orchestra.

Performing in The Last Five Years, August 2007


It was also a year of great friends. The older I get, the more I realize how wonderful each and every friend of mine is to me. Chuck, Charlie, Matt, Jason, Mark, B, D, the Prenzies, Ann, Les, Kels. The list is longer than I can even imagine. I was so lucky to reconnect with old friends this year, like Courtney, Matt Timion, Tracy from college. You guys are my rock, so important, and I'm glad to have you in my life.

The boys at Matt and Jason, watching a male sex change via internet.


The most important change of this year is that Rob and I are trying to have a baby. I always saw myself as a mom, but never really thought I would be ready. I had a lot of emotional bullshit to hack through before I was ready to tackle this role. As I mentioned above, I did a lot of good work this year, which allowed me to feel physically, emotionally and mentally ready for this huge ordeal. No babies yet. You know, once I'm ready to divulge that information, it will be posted on this blog.

Important resolutions and tasks for 2008?
Get pregnant
Take care of myself physically (emotionally, I'm ready!)
Pay off my LAST debt (yahoo!)
Buy a house
Have a fun/successful first season with the theatre company
Cultivate my friendships, old and new


Happy New Year, my friends and readers.