Weekend from Hell

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. And because this is MY blog, I will say what I damn well please. I may run the risk of pissing someone off, but I'll take that chance. I'm not the type of girl to let my emotions eat me alive. If I've learned one thing in therapy, it's to not let that stuff overcome you. You must allow it to come up so you can deal with it. I spent most of my adult life pushing things away emotionally, and it really fucked me up. No more.

I have an ego. Sure. I'm an actor and a singer. It would be silly to think that I don't have one. But I also can concede that, if I don't get a role, it was because someone was better than I, or was better for a role than I was. I have no problems in admitting that. But, here is the thing. The person they chose was not better than me. Eva Peron has to "belt to Jesus", as Derek would say. In musical theatre land, belting to Jesus is equivalent to belting an E. Quite honestly, when it came down to it, I was the only one whose higher register could handle those freakishly high notes without sounding A. like an opera singer trying to sing musical theatre or B. totally screaming and forcing the poor larynx to do things it's incapable of doing.

The thing that really infuriates me is that the person they chose for Eva is the directors wife. Um, nepotism anyone? And how does someone accept that? I know in a day or so, I'll be fine with it. But honestly, how does one do that? This is the reason I fucking hate community theatre. All the politics. This is one reason I miss Cincinnati theatre so much. When I auditioned in Cincinnati, I got a role because I was either the best for the role, or I earned it. I was lucky that, the first show I auditioned for (Side Show with New Stage Collective) in Cincinnati, I was cast as the lead, which opened many doors for me in town with other companies. I'm not saying that I don't want to work for roles in this community. But I will say it's one of the big reasons I've started my own company. So I don't have to think about all the politics and "it's all in who you know". The organization putting on the show has been known, for the 50 years it's been producing shows, to be this kind of organization. If nepotism, politics and pettiness is the way they would like to run it, by all means. I think they tend to alienate many of the most talented people in the QC because of their tactics. It's why The Green Room Theatre gets great actors for their productions. My pal Derek (who runs the Green Room with Tyson) said last night that sometimes, he feels lucky that he gets the "left-overs", because more oft than not it's the most talented people in the area, who've been booma-shammed by the other theatre. I hope the same goes for my company. Left-overs are often much better the next day.

That being said, I'm honestly sort of relieved. I really didn't want to put my life on hold for 6 months. With this twist of fate, Rob and I can still pro-create. I won't have to worry how I'm going to schedule my rehearsals around a crazy Evita schedule. And the best part, I can audition for Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme in Assassins with The Green Room. It's a much less time commitment than Evita would have been... and a better show. I'd rather do Sondheim than Webber any day.

Last night, the boys helped me drown my sorrows in a Whitey's Oreo Malt. We saw this lovely monstrosity in line.



The boys, enjoying Whitey's


My boys again. From Left to Right- Bryan, Derek, Tyson and Dana



It's been a day since I've found out. I worked off most of my frustation (and Whitey's Malt) at the gym this morning. Now that I've written this blog, I already feel better. And if I pissed you off (either for or against my opinion)... heh.