Week in Review

Antidepressants- Well gang, it's been a helluva week. But having been on the meds for 7 days, I'm already starting to feel better. I think I felt better before I started taking them, but I also think that my body needed to get used to them. I expected the anxiety, the drowsiness, the loss of appetite (yay for losing weight!). However, I didn't expect the tremendous mood swings I would have. I've never had mood swings (at least I don't think I have) before, and it was quite the journey, let me tell you. But today was a good day. In retrospect, I don't think it was good to start taking them on my week off. Being an active person, it's hard to just sit still. Sure, I got out and did things. But when I wasn't, I was sitting at the computer, playing games and lamenting my horrible existence on the North Coast. Was glad to get back to the academy today to teach. I hate working Saturdays, yet so look forward to them, as I get to do one thing I love, and that is teach.

Homesick- Had the strangest sensation this week of being all-consumed by my homesickness for Cincinnati. Sometimes, the first week in Cincinnati is just beautiful. Warm, sunny days. Those great ones in the Nati, before the heat of August turns the air into smog. Although many of my Nati friends are telling me it's colder than a witches tit out there. At this point, I don't think I would really care what the weather is, as long as I'm there. I miss the people more than anything. I had this horrible pain in my heart to see my friend Chuck. Chuck is one of my bestest friends. He is honest, beautiful, selfless. He and I are kindred spirits, no doubt. We understand each other in a way that is beyond all words. I spoke to him today, which undoubtedly raised my spirits immensely. I miss all the opportunities I had in Cincinnati. I miss good thai food. I miss culture. I miss gay boys. I told Chuck today that if there are any gay boys in Eureka, I'd like to know where they are hiding, because in 8 months, I haven't seen a single one. We have the polar opposite of gay men here- we have unbathed granola-girl lesbians. They have no style, no taste, no fashion sense. See? Total opposite of gay men. I CAN NOT WAIT to get to Cincinnati on June 6, where I will be surrounded by beautiful, fabulous gay men. One of them is named Chuck.

Losing Weight- Lost 3 more pounds this week, for a total of 5 so far!

Epiphany- Have had so many of these while living here. But I was sitting on a bench in the mall yesterday and it was as if the heav'ns cracked open and a choir began singing. I thought to myself on why I thought moving here was going to be so easy? Did I think packing up my entire life and moving 2500 miles away would be a walk in the park? That leaving leagues of friends, a successful studio, and a happy little existence in local theatre would make me happy? What the fuck was I thinking?? I'm sure that I will look back on this in a year (or more) and think that, good or bad, this experience will be memorable. Like dating John. That was the worst mistake of my life, and I regret about 99.9% of that relationship. But it was memorable. And I learned a helluva lot from it. But I will say this... I will never be this hasty in making a decision ever again. EVER AGAIN. And I will be happy to drive away from this place with the sun on the right side of my car instead of the left.